i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
