I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
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