I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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