Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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