we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
