it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
