I just saw a hot homeless man
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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