Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I party with great urgency now.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
