Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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