I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
