Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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