I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
