hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so explain again why im purple
no
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
