i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
