After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
