wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
