I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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