He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
