Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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