When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
