The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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