I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
