this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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