I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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