You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
4 words: hood of his car
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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