I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Someone stole a lamp last night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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