Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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