those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sorry my hands just texted you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
