Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
im holly from the hills drunk
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
