we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
