I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
