I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
