It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
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