After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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