This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
