i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
