Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
