Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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