Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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