Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
