So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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