and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
