I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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