Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
