Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
