I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
