then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Everyone says I win the strip club
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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