I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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