Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
