dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
