This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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