After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
