I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
