So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He has the fingertips of a God
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