remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
