i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
