I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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