Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
