I think I died a long time ago.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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