shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
