3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
