i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
