I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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