Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
