So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
